he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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