We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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