Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
