I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
