Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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