why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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