It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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