Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
