the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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