I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
