NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize