he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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