I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
