So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
