where does the pee come out of this thing
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
