dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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