Nicole vs. Life
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
