we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
