I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
