chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
