I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize