Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize