yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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