Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
