I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
