sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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