I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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