so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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