i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
did i walk over a car last night?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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