omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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