you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
