mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He kissed a someone with a penis
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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