Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
