WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
