Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
