Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize