dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
