There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
