Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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