She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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