I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
