Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
