Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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