just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There's always time for handjobs
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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