why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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