Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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