Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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