I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
