He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
