ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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