so that wasnt chicken after all
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
