At least make sure they are 18
Why
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
