you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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