does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
be right there i have to get my cape
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
