you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
