he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
