when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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