Plan B is the new Plan A
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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