3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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