new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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