I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
