the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
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