Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
