Say something about gay babies.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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