She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
