ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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