ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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