GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize